Our Truth

Let’s break down the walls and masks we all put up and wear in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt. It’s not just a confidence exercise anymore. Having confidence on stage is something that will allow you to be a more present actor, more entertaining to watch, and appear surer of all your decisions. I used to believe that a confident improviser was the main thing needed to find your way and take risks. This is partially true. We all have confidence buried inside us. All we can do is find ways to bring it out as we need it. I realize now that this is only half the battle. A lot of us use an air of confidence to cover our true feelings. It’s false confidence that hides our true intensions and emotions. It also creates a certain disconnect from our fellow improvisers on stage. We use it as a shield to protect ourselves from others. Most of us do it unknowingly in our day to day lives. This mask has no place on stage. We must lose it in the green room and come out open, ready and exposed.

How can we have emotional committed characters if we ourselves are not being emotionally available? As we go through life we develop tools to protect ourselves and to hide our insecurities. Exploring this is one scary idea. It is an idea that many will not want to explore within themselves. How can we teach ourselves to let our guard down on command? Sharing ourselves with our characters and yet feeling and showing confidence? The truth from our characters comes from us. We can’t fabricate realistic reactions to situations. We have to be present and open to hear and react to offers. The only true way this can happen is if we let our guard down and let ourselves be available. One thing I do NOT want to explore is emotional recall. Crying on stage because you remember a traumatic experience is something I do not find healthy. Instead if we can safely reveal something about our self and speak a truth about us we are opening ourselves up. We are letting our guard down for that moment. This could be as simple as a true story that we find funny about ourselves.

Fear is a factor in our creation of these “masks”. I hope though that people can realize it does not have to be a scary painful exercise to let others in. Have fun with the idea that you can be you and not be judged. Feel powerful as yourself. Proud to the core of whom you are and in what you believe in. You don’t have to drudge up painful or awful feelings to work on this. I think that’s why most avoid this kind of work. They are scared and assume that if they head down a road of removing the mask they fear they will get hurt emotionally by revealing themselves or will need to break down and cry to work at this. In actual fact it is SO freeing and wonderful to be you and not worry about judgment. How can we explore this idea safely? It will have to be in a safe and supportive group so that we can feel no judgment and yet at the same time do some real self evaluation.

I wonder if all the ways we attempt to be unique or original are actually just layers being added onto our masks. I am tattooed, 6’5”, 230lbs and have a shaved head. I am not a scary biker but rather a passionate, creative, caring, loving person who wants everyone around me to succeed and find out how amazing they are. My look does not represent my true self. I say that I get these tattoos because I like them but I do know that people see me in a different light because of them. I know that I do like people being a bit intimidated by me. I am making up for being picked on from a very early awkward age. I never played, or was good at, sports. I was quite nerdy and kept to myself. I started to over compensate with aggression and anger. I spent a long time angry. I took years to realize not everyone wanted to hurt me. I was actually a grown up and could just be myself. I was good enough just being myself. I could say how I felt about hockey and not worry that people wouldn’t like me. It’s been a long time since someone has picked on me yet I still have my guard up in a whole lot of situations in my life. If I don’t let em in they can’t hurt me.

However, on stage though I feel free to be myself and reveal bits to the audience. I am not sure if this is because I assume they think I am making it up or just because I have trained myself to be relaxed and comfortable in front of strangers. This is where I feel the best. (I have written about this in other posts) So we now need to explore the idea of breaking down these masks and walls we put up daily. Let’s love ourselves for who we are and know that we are all that is needed to be entertaining, wonderful performers. We should be confident because we are all amazing. Time to let the world see who we are and rock it like no one’s business.