Like in everything we do there are people that take
advantage of power. They use their position to get what they want and not
always in a good way. In a drive for success we find ourselves putting up with
certain things or not telling people to leave us alone in fear that we will
burn bridges. This is especially true when we are taught and programmed in
improv to say “yes” and to be over accepting of others and our partners. I
guess this is why this makes me especially mad. I feel like I have been teaching
the “YES AND” ideals and then sending people out to be groped without the
proper tools to protect themselves.
I have also heard and seen situations where newer
improvisers who were not completely comfortable or confident on stage end up
going along with awful scenes or ideas because they were scared and not present
enough to realize what was happening right in front of them. Nerves make us
miss things and can leave us in bad situations.
If someone makes you feel uncomfortable on or off stage you
have the right to say $#@& off. This seems so straight forward but often in
this art form that teaches saying yes and the fear of being ridiculed by our
peers we stay silent and put up with it. Sexual harassment and bullying seems
to be something that affects a ton of improvisers in all communities but is
rarely spoken about. There seems to be a quiet murmur in the bars and back
rooms but not openly talked about. These inappropriate acts are being committed
by people in power positions as well as unexperienced improvisers that don’t
have control. It’s also happening because some people are just plain old assholes.
Maybe this will turn into a rant but I am tired of hearing about this
happening. I guess I would hope I have a little bit of power to prevent this
when I am aware of it.
Regularly in the pub talking to performers from my group and
others, I hear stories about being physically intimidated or sexually harassed
on and off stage. This can be such a tricky situation because no one wants to
ruin a show by calling someone a pervert in front of an audience. So they walk
off stage after the scene or show feeling awful and helpless to stop the
bullying or harassment. The usual response is to grin and bear it. As my
network grew, I started to see and hear about more times when people were made
to feel uncomfortable and even sexually harassed. When I ask them what they did
I hear the same answers over and over. They did nothing in fear of what would
happen if they did say something. I have even had people tell me that they
didn’t want to make ME upset when someone was making them uncomfortable during
a workshop or after………
All I could say was “just because we aren’t in the workshop
room anymore and are at the pub does not give someone the right to be an
asshole.” I want our community to feel safe no matter where we are. I am not
really too sure what I expected to get out of this post but I wanted to say
that there is never a time where you should allow yourself to feel uncomfortable.
In your gut you know when something doesn’t feel right. I hope we start to find
a voice so that we can speak up when someone isn’t treating us with respect no
matter where or when it happens.
Why do people act like dicks sometimes? Well some are nervous
and out of control. Just not able to see how they are affecting others on
stage. Some use power to take advantage of people. Some are angry and scared.
Some think improv workshops and shows are a way to pick up people. Some are
just assholes. I have no problem pointing out to those that may just be unaware
of themselves. When they are nervous they sometimes don’t realize their own
strength or presence. They don’t realize they may be making those around them
uncomfortable.
How do we deal with this sort of situation or these certain
types of people? I think we as a community need to take a stand when we are
aware of this happening. We need to help each other out and stop being silent
in fear of banishment. Directors need to give strong performance tools so
people know when things aren’t right and when it is okay to say no on stage. We
need to learn to trust our gut and leave situations that make us uncomfortable.
We need to learn how to be heard and expect respect.
You as an
individual performer can also start to fill your tool belt with ways to deal
with these situations. First say “NO” when you need to. Sometimes this is all
it takes to let someone know to leave you alone. Find strength in your scenes
and partners then protect them. I have talked about this in other posts.
From: Contradictions #4 post.
"Say yes and yet know when to
say no.”
What do we do if someone
comes in with a blind side offer or one that makes no sense at all with what
our scene is about? I can sometimes be an aggressive performer when playing
with asshole improvisers. I say it’s because I’m old and grumpy which I think
is partially true. I also believe that I am very protective and like to take
care of my scene and partner. I like to put my work in and hate to see it get
plowed over by someone not paying attention, coming in with nothing to offer,
or when someone is being a show boat. So I protect it by not always saying yes.
Sometimes I think improvisers can be too polite and just say yes to whatever
crappy offer gets thrown at them. They shouldn’t have to if they have a good
foundation and are doing good work. Too easily do we just go with whatever is
brought to us even when it makes no sense what so ever.
So we started seeing how we
can own and protect our scenes. We hope this doesn’t happen often at our venue,
but every once in awhile people come into scenes with nothing at all or aren’t
paying attention to what the scene needs. I know I’m guilty of it. So without
being a dink on stage we looked at ways to not give up our scene to someone
just butting in. We looked at hosting techniques and physical changes as well
as leaving the dink on the stage alone to deal with their mess.
Most improvisers felt a rush
of satisfaction that they had not ever experienced. They felt good and strong.
Not all felt positively, however, some actually felt bad. They felt as if they
had done something wrong and rude to their fellow performer. When asked if the
audience saw them looking rude or mean, the response was a resounding “NO”!
When the improviser that was the dink was asked if they felt betrayed or
mistreated, they also said no. So everyone was okay. No one died or was hurt
emotionally. We should always be positive and be trying to move things forward,
but that doesn’t always mean saying yes, despite improvisers being taught to
always say “yes, and”. Sometimes we need to realize we are okay without
everyone on stage. If we do our work and establish a ton fairly quickly then we
don’t need someone plowing through or entering for no reason. You can ask them
to leave.
This is a pretty big topic. I
feel sometimes we just allow ourselves to be bullied. I am sure we can all
think of a time where we felt dirty after a scene. Either because we came on
and messed everything all up or that we had someone kill our scene. It was a
very exciting and empowering exercise and is not over yet. We can be strong and
not come across as an asshole.
Also trust your community and let people know if someone is
making things uncomfortable for you. There may be something happening that
directors are simply unaware of. It should be handled after that. It may come
down to a certain someone being asked to leave and not come back. I have
definitely had to do this more than once. Sometimes a stern talking to is all
it takes but not always. Lastly if you aren’t finding help where you need it,
then perhaps you will need to look for another group. There is a ton of improv
companies out there. I think you should let people know why you are leaving so
that they understand if the acceptance of this behavior continues then they
will lose more players. Improviser’s confidence and strength come from playing
in a safe fun environment. That’s where we do our best.
Now I know this is a post that some might feel is a little
over the top and perhaps for some seem unnecessary, but I really am tired of
assholes using improv as a way to be all pervy and shitty to other humans. Anyway,
I ranted and feel like I said my piece. You want to ever really see me fired up
just talk to me about this topic at the pub!
