Shut up and do it (please)

Through working with 20 talented and intelligent improvisers I have been challenged and tested a lot as a director. I have got 20 of the most wonderful caring cast members around. In fact the group we have sure feels more like a family then a group I improvise and work with. This has come with many hurdles as we developed a show format, workshopped, and advanced ourselves as a cast. It has been a great way for me to grow quickly as a director. Being pushed and challenged on my ideas is something that motivates me further to learn and attempt to perfect this imperfect uncertain art form. Improv is seen as the “fun, happy, silly, love-each-other performance art” What people don’t see is the hard work that goes into this process. We make it look easy when we get up there and do a great scene. What the audience doesn’t see or understand is the road blocks we hit as we work and push ourselves. Improvisers, who have been doing this for at least a couple years, know that point you get to where you just can’t seem to do a good show no matter what you do. There is the frustration and disappointment in yourself, the continued beating yourself up and wondering if you should bother to continue pursuing this thing. We all get past this but the ebbs and flows will continue throughout our inspiration to be better performers. The note below was written and never intended to be released but I do feel it is a good look into the frustration I was feeling at that time. What is amazing is that the piece is null and void at this point. We, as a cast, have come SO far and grown SO much. The trust is at a level I never expected. It’s simply a look into a rough workshop I had. (What is funny is that once the yelling settled we did have a great workshop. I just felt ganged up on. This is easy when you have 20 people looking to you for an answer that you can not give because there is no answer. This resistance is also expected because I want SO much from this group. We aren’t gonna settle for being just “okay” I expect AWESOMENESS from everyone involved) I should say that I do often say “Shut and do it” I stand by that. It’s because your brain gets in the way of letting your body improvise. So “Shut up and read it already” HAHA

Shut up and do it!

Something I say a lot is “Shut up and do it”. This may sound so negative when in fact it is intended to be a positive push towards freedom and success. When I am setting up a new exercise, improvisers sometimes ask a million questions before they are willing to attempt it.  I think this can be a case of improvisers not wanting to, or not trusting themselves enough, to jump headfirst into it. They wind up in their heads over thinking the exercise then create a block for themselves. Before they will jump in they have this need for all the answers. It’s safer if they don’t think they can fail. If they can play it right (or at least in their head attempt to play it right) they feel free of the possible judgment that may follow. I will say once again that there are no wrong ways to do an exercise. The exercises are simply a place to “fail” or attempt new things and to push further.

If you are looking for certainty in improv you are in the wrong art. Exercises and scenes, for the most part, need to be felt not explained. Each exercise needs to be done as if it is the only exercise you have ever done. If rules are set up, follow them and test yourself within that specific exercise, yet don’t restrict yourself to the rules because, as we all know, “rules are meant to be broken.” (As said in another post it’s all about the exercise not the outcome) I am never totally sure of what I need or want the outcome to be when setting up an exercise. I am hoping that some result will come from it and then, that once discovered it can be applied to our format or scene work. If people challenge the idea of the rules we may discover things we didn’t even know we were looking for.

A problem I face is that sometimes I appear to contradict myself. I feel there are a couple of reasons for this. Reason 1 being that I am always discovering new ideas and concepts. I may have thought one way and then literally the next day changed my mind completely on that idea. Reason number 2 may be that when I give an exercise to try, I want the improviser to ignore the ideas from all previous exercises so we can explore what the outcome will be with independent rules relevant to the new exercise. I have a million different things that I say are “The most important thing in Improv” and that’s because everything we learn is just as important as everything else. Nothing is more important then any other thing we learn. We all learn differently and need different things at different times. All these tools become essential and will be needed at different times during scenes, games or exercises. So learn them all and put equal value on them and tuck them in your improv toolbox. Then learn to let them go. (Rules when learned need to be worked on until they become second nature and no longer thought about). Something I really try to do is allow freedom for the improvisers to try new things and challenge themselves. Sometimes my uncertainty on specific rules to follow creates a misunderstanding and confusion. I am expecting faith where perhaps there are no grounds for any. I always know that an outcome will happen and that from it we will benefit. That is something I am VERY certain of. I never attempt something without a reason. Also the thought of no structure or concrete rules can be too overwhelming to attack confidently. The idea of freedom can seem scary. We like rules. I am the first to admit that I do not have all the answers. We are in a constant discovery mode in workshop. I am also finding that a lot of improvisers are very intellectual, or book smart as I call it. I am a very physical performer and go with my gut fairly easily. I relish in the uncertainty created in scenes and exercises. There is no bad outcome. Everything we discover is right because it happened. In all exercises I ever participate in I am asking myself what can we learn and take from it. I am always saying “There are no wrong answers or mistakes” To hear that is one thing but to truly believe it and trust yourself enough to jump off the cliff with no net is another. This is something I expect and perhaps I should learn to ease into it rather than applying the push-from-the-nest method. It will work differently for each individual group or performer.

As I get older (I know I’m not old but I am also far from a baby) I am starting to take more risks in my improv. I feel I can do this because I have cemented important rules and always have my partner in mind when I am performing. I try to never hurt them or the scene. I relish in freedom. I take this to exercises as well. I almost don’t want too many rules or restrictions because these holes will be filled as we go. Let’s try to build each exercise and experience organically. As we learn new material we are going to end up in our heads over thinking the new knowledge. This is all part of the process until these new ideas become muscle memory. The group dynamic is so important. Without a trusting caring group no one will feel safe or grow. Some improvisers are also just too damn smart for their own good. You know who you are. Continue to trust your gut and take a leap, or just shut up and do it! HA!

Our Truth

Let’s break down the walls and masks we all put up and wear in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt. It’s not just a confidence exercise anymore. Having confidence on stage is something that will allow you to be a more present actor, more entertaining to watch, and appear surer of all your decisions. I used to believe that a confident improviser was the main thing needed to find your way and take risks. This is partially true. We all have confidence buried inside us. All we can do is find ways to bring it out as we need it. I realize now that this is only half the battle. A lot of us use an air of confidence to cover our true feelings. It’s false confidence that hides our true intensions and emotions. It also creates a certain disconnect from our fellow improvisers on stage. We use it as a shield to protect ourselves from others. Most of us do it unknowingly in our day to day lives. This mask has no place on stage. We must lose it in the green room and come out open, ready and exposed.

How can we have emotional committed characters if we ourselves are not being emotionally available? As we go through life we develop tools to protect ourselves and to hide our insecurities. Exploring this is one scary idea. It is an idea that many will not want to explore within themselves. How can we teach ourselves to let our guard down on command? Sharing ourselves with our characters and yet feeling and showing confidence? The truth from our characters comes from us. We can’t fabricate realistic reactions to situations. We have to be present and open to hear and react to offers. The only true way this can happen is if we let our guard down and let ourselves be available. One thing I do NOT want to explore is emotional recall. Crying on stage because you remember a traumatic experience is something I do not find healthy. Instead if we can safely reveal something about our self and speak a truth about us we are opening ourselves up. We are letting our guard down for that moment. This could be as simple as a true story that we find funny about ourselves.

Fear is a factor in our creation of these “masks”. I hope though that people can realize it does not have to be a scary painful exercise to let others in. Have fun with the idea that you can be you and not be judged. Feel powerful as yourself. Proud to the core of whom you are and in what you believe in. You don’t have to drudge up painful or awful feelings to work on this. I think that’s why most avoid this kind of work. They are scared and assume that if they head down a road of removing the mask they fear they will get hurt emotionally by revealing themselves or will need to break down and cry to work at this. In actual fact it is SO freeing and wonderful to be you and not worry about judgment. How can we explore this idea safely? It will have to be in a safe and supportive group so that we can feel no judgment and yet at the same time do some real self evaluation.

I wonder if all the ways we attempt to be unique or original are actually just layers being added onto our masks. I am tattooed, 6’5”, 230lbs and have a shaved head. I am not a scary biker but rather a passionate, creative, caring, loving person who wants everyone around me to succeed and find out how amazing they are. My look does not represent my true self. I say that I get these tattoos because I like them but I do know that people see me in a different light because of them. I know that I do like people being a bit intimidated by me. I am making up for being picked on from a very early awkward age. I never played, or was good at, sports. I was quite nerdy and kept to myself. I started to over compensate with aggression and anger. I spent a long time angry. I took years to realize not everyone wanted to hurt me. I was actually a grown up and could just be myself. I was good enough just being myself. I could say how I felt about hockey and not worry that people wouldn’t like me. It’s been a long time since someone has picked on me yet I still have my guard up in a whole lot of situations in my life. If I don’t let em in they can’t hurt me.

However, on stage though I feel free to be myself and reveal bits to the audience. I am not sure if this is because I assume they think I am making it up or just because I have trained myself to be relaxed and comfortable in front of strangers. This is where I feel the best. (I have written about this in other posts) So we now need to explore the idea of breaking down these masks and walls we put up daily. Let’s love ourselves for who we are and know that we are all that is needed to be entertaining, wonderful performers. We should be confident because we are all amazing. Time to let the world see who we are and rock it like no one’s business. 

Creating Sudden Death Improv

It has been a long time since I have written a new post, partially because I have been a busy duder and partially because I haven’t known what else to write about. I assumed that if I started writing something would come to me and here it is. I did post something a little while ago but deleted it before anyone read it. It was a vent on my part rather then useful information. I may repost it in the future. The rollercoaster ride of taking over the theatre, casting 20+ people, logos, websites, tweeting, painting, cleaning, and creating a show has been a crazy ride. (None of this would have been possible without all the support around me. I hope you know who you are and know I am talking to you.)

It wasn’t until I was in Victoria that someone said to me, “Wow, you are basing your whole success and business on a show format that you haven’t even created yet! That’s ballsy.” I hadn’t really thought about that until it was said to me. I sure started freaking out after that. The name Sudden Death Improv came to me in Seattle when I was there for the Improv Festival in June 2011. (Thanks Trenton Shine of The Unscriptables for helping the inspiration) We cast the performers the last weekend of September and immediately threw up Vamprov for the month of October. This wasn’t too hard because it’s a format we have done before that uses short form games that pits humans against Vampires. Once Vamprov was up we were working on our scene work in workshop. I know the cast members were all wondering when they’d find out what Sudden Death Improv was going to be. The format came in a moment of being half asleep, half awake, and lying in bed stressed out of my mind. That was December 2011.

We started working the format seriously right after the idea for it came about. I was lucky and got to try it out on table23 during our Wednesday shows in December. I did it 3 times in its super early stage in front of an audience. It seemed to have a great feel. The improvisers loved playing it and the audience enjoyed it big time. I knew at this time it had elements missing. It was fun but nothing was on the line or important to keep you invested. With table23 we had great success because open scenes are where we feel most comfortable. I knew with newer improvisers this would be tricky to make it consistent and successful. So I went into the Xmas holidays still pretty unsure of what we were gonna do. I set the grand reopening for January 27^th/12. I attempted to take 2 weeks away from the theatre at this time. During these two weeks I surrounded myself with family and enjoyed the holiday season. It was great but it turned into the longest 2 weeks of my life HAHA. My OCD mind was in overdrive repeating all the things that needed to get done in a very short amount of time. I was losing sleep and a looked like a worried mess. Once we got back in there the work around the space started to come together. It was a relief to see things move along so quickly. Walls got painted, sets built, and LOTS of stuff got sold or thrown out.

Through lots of discussion and workshopping Sudden Death really started to take shape its elements of short form games squished between open scenes. You have 2 improvisers who will do an open scene not knowing what their suggestion is. Before the scene happens, the 3 remaining improvisers perform an improv game given to them by the host. The first 2 watch the game and then perform a scene inspired by it. They do the scene based only on what they see their 3 teammates do. After the scene they try guess the suggestion. (Thanks Richard Wiens for that one!) If they get it right they get a point. If they get it wrong the host gets a point. A very simple format to watch but a very hard format to explain. We have been attempting a few different ways and scripts to introduce the show. What we are finding works best is explaining it as it happens. The audience seems to be able to follow it more easily.

When we performed it the first weekend the scenes were too short (my bad) and there were no points being awarded yet. So it was game then scene, game then scene, etc. It was so fast paced that the night blew by like crazy and didn’t have that “thing” it needed yet. Once the point system between the host and improvisers was added the audience became more invested. We have had a couple audiences jump out of their seats when the improvisers have won the night. This is only week 6 at this point. We continue to tweak it and work it, all while doing scene work over and over. I love the openness and freedom of the open scenes and goofy element of the games. It has potential to grow and morph as we grow as a company and get more seasoned. I am really excited to be 10 years in the future and remembering how far we have come and yet I am soaking up and enjoying the hell out of right now. Maybe soon I can catch up on my sleep…………….Maybe!