Why I Do Improvise

I was asked by Randy Dixon (very amazing improv director form Seattle) to really take some time and think about why it is that I improvise

This seems like it should be an easy question to answer but for some reason it hasn’t been. I’ve been actively thinking about it for at least 3 weeks now. I have spent countless hours performing and work shopping this art and yet I am unclear what is making or driving me to do it. This past time (Improv) really has became more of a passion for me over the past couple years. So if it has just recently become a passion then what motivated me for the last 12 plus years to continue exploring it?

I feel like I could give all kinds of cliché answers, for example: I get a rush on stage, I like the risk involved, it helps my confidence, its fun or I like the freedom, and people would be satisfied with that.  All of these things are true as far as what I get out of performing Improv but none seem to really answer why I do it. What makes me workshop way beyond tired, perform on an empty stomach because there was no time for food, do shows for crowds that could care less if you’re on stage or not, and drive for 15 hours to do an hour long gig?

I do know that Improv is something I have to do. Without it in my life there would be a hole. I have all kinds of ideas and thoughts on the subject that are constantly pouring out of me and I know I would sleep way worse then I already do if I had no outlet for these ideas. So is the reason I do it actually because it’s a necessity? That doesn’t seem good enough to me either though. I have to eat or I’ll die. I’m sure I wouldn’t die with out improv.

And then as I sit here and write, it hits me like a bolt of lightning. I do improv because it is the only time in my life I truly get to explore myself in every sense of the word. I spend my days at a job I like, and am good at plugging away mindlessly to make a buck and feed and clothe myself. Most people at my job don’t really ever get to see the real Graham. In fact most people in my life don’t get to see me for who I really am. When I workshop and perform I am delving deep inside myself exploring how I work as a person. I expose a part of me in every character I play on stage. All are a piece of me and are a truth to me because at the end of the day all the characters I play stem from my life knowledge and beliefs. I do improv because it is a chance for me to be myself. Through training I am able to do this on stage (a safe spot for me where I am free from judgment) I do it because I am free to feel and do anything I need to do. The image or mask I wear or carry around with me is washed away and I can truly and completely be myself. Improv allows me to do this with no fear because an audience sees me being a character so they never think I’m showing them myself. That in itself is funny because the humor in improv comes from the truth and realism of it all.

Well I guess that’s it. That’s why I do it. I need to because I would lose who I am without being able to really be myself on a regular basis. I’m sure everyone needs an outlet for this. Now I’m curious what everyone else does. Hmmmmmm